In any case, our worst fears about these interactions are rarely realised. Last year, the team of Stanford psychologist Prof Jamil Zaki, the author of Hope for Cynics: The Surprising Science of Human Goodness, put up posters around campus with messages about approachability and warmth. They found that what students most needed was permission – the reminder to “take a chance”. They concluded: “Too often, we’re sure that conversation and connection will exhaust us, or that we can’t count on others.” In our minds, we paint people (and ourselves) as profoundly disappointing. They – and we – are rarely that bad. And even if they are, it will make a good story to tell later to the people who are not strangers to you.
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